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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I received the same pressure from his father.  It was a custom in his family to provide for the elders.  When we has just graduated from school and started new jobs, his brothers and sisters asked that we start contributing towards his father's expenses.  With our huge student loan debt, we could barely make ends meet.  My parents saw us struggling, and they would give us generous birthday and holiday cash gifts.  I didn't have the heart to tell my family that we had to funnel off a chunk of the money they gave us for DH's family.  They would've freaked![/quote]

That's awful. In so many ways. I feel sorry for you and more so for your parents, I hope that they never need your help or money (or what's left of it after years of subsidizing some pushy selfish ones).[/quote]

Yikes, I didn't mean to high jack the thread. Our situation was complicated. DH's father paid for much of DH's schooling (undergrad) then just as he was about to graduate from law school the father stated he was now broke. DH had no idea his father was running out of money. The brothers and sisters complained that the father would  have money if he hadn't been paying for DH's college.  The siblings went to community college and lived at home, DH went away to a prestigious state college on partial scholarship.  DH felt guilty, and was in essense paying his father back.  It's a different culture than mine and we wouldn't run our family this way.

OP, family situations are never easy.  We had to hide the fact that we had savings when the ILs would ask for money. Over time they stopped asking ( sadly DH's father died a few years back).  Only you and your DH know all the layers of his relationship with them. You two should decide together what works for your family and stand your ground together on your position. [/quote]

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