Reply to Can I tell my DD she can't dance in the upcoming recital?

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Reply to "Can I tell my DD she can't dance in the upcoming recital?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she can't count music, does the song have lyrics?

Ask the teacher if you can videotape her doing the dance.

If it is a beginner dance, it is probably very 8 count-ish.

There should be obvious moments of transitions, which probably go along with the lyrics and specific music crescendos and moments.

Give your daughter cues from the lyrics which match the transitions, so she can have spots in the dance where she can regroup with what she is supposed to be doing.

Your daughter just might not hear the music or beat.  Some kids never do.  Add that to being generally uncoordinated, and it can get tricky.  You need to help her through this, without making her feel worse than she probably already does.

Don't pull her from recital.  That would be heartless, and will stay with her forever.[/quote]

OP here and wow this is great advice and I only wish I had had it weeks ago. The class has ended. There will not be another one and the recital is next week.

We have practiced with the music at home many times. I have watched and encouraged her at home for months now.  Clearly dance is not her thing or at least group dance is not.  The problem is not when she is dancing alone its when she is dancing with the group.

To put this in context of how bad it is, my DD is in the front row of girls.  Instead of facing forward, she turns her whole body almost all the way around and watches the steps of the girls behind her, then turns around forward and does the steps but of course she is now off and when she turns back around the other girls have moved so that one is coming towards her - this is how the collision happened.

[b]For the music teacher - I appreciate what you are saying a music performance is much different from dance. You can easily suck in a larger group music performance and no one will know. Trust me - I did 4th grade band and couldn't play a note and no one was the wiser.  [/b]

I have decided to not say anything about the recital and just go as planned but I will not watch her performance.  She won't know the difference (big auditorium) and this will keep me from making any critiquing remarks and allow me to just image the best performance ever in my mind. [/quote]

Last post from me promise because you are digging yourself a bigger hole by the minute but honestly, it isnt that different.  I went to conservatory and we had a dance dept there as well.  4th grade band is not a point of comparison.  I am a string player and if you put your DD in a string quartet or small string ensemble and there are less than 15 people, she can stick out horribly and cause all sorts of discord ( pun intended).  I judge festivals and competitions all the time where this is the case and I also attend student recitals and juries.  Parents sit quietly and listen to their children play horrifically some days and they still hug and fawn over them afterwards.  Why?  Because they are trying and that is BRAVE and you are being a wimp by wanting to pull her out of it for even a second to "save yourself". And now from your last post saying you wont even watch her performance...I just dont know how to even respond to that.  It is simply horrible parenting.  And if you dont think she will be looking for you you are deluded.  I ALWAYS looked for my parents and especially if I was having trouble in concert.  ALWAYS.  So give yourself a huge F for effort if you dont attend her performance and she has trouble and looks to you for reassurance and you are nowhere to be seen.  And why? So you can have an easier time figuring out what to say to her? Are you really that weak with words? Write 10 sentences right now about what you saw in rehearsal today about how brave, hard working, dedicated, and patient with herself she is.  Maybe you could learn a thing of two from her in fact.  [/quote]

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