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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. Someone asked what my mother thinks of all of this. It's a complicated answer. For one, my mother always negates trouble or unpleasantness, or brushes it aside. So she sort of has her head in the sand. Also, she wasn't the greatest mom, either, so I am not sure her judgment is the greatest. Finally, my mother lives for my father (completely dependent on him, he is her everything, more important than anyone or anything including herself), and my father, who is a selfish, money-loving narcissist, adores my BIL and sister because of their financial success.  So, since they are so important to my dad, and my dad is so important to my mom, she does not want to admit that there are problems here.[/quote]

What does your husband have to say about the situation?  Like some of the pps, you have my sympathy and I don't see any answer.  My concern, given the post above, is that you are falling into your mom's pattern of appeasing bad behavior in order not to risk rocking the boat or estrangement.  I don't think you have to cut them off, but I think that cutting them off (or getting cut off by them because you speak truthfully) needs to be an option that you consider.  Maybe as an outsider, your husband would have a clearer view of what to do.[/quote]

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