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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would try to use the baby's arrival as a fresh start.  Invite any and all.  Never talk about one family member to another, or listen to them bitch about it.

And the second any yelling or abuse starts, just excuse yourself with the baby.  Always have an exit plan, a non-confrontational one.  Kindly say you are tired, or baby needs a nap.  You can get away with this for at least the first year.

Feign illness, whatever, to remove yourself from any drama.  Eventually it will all recalibrate around your non participation.[/quote]

This is kind of what we've done with my MIL. We love both my MIL and my FIL dearly. But MIL is toxic. Very similar to the way you describe your stepmother. We have drastically cut back on the amount of time we spend with them and we always have a way out. For example, we'll visit them, but we stay in a nearby hotel claiming that it's just easier for everyone. We limit our interactions with them to a monthly phone call and a day or so during holidays.

Protect yourself and your family first.[/quote]

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