Reply to What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Example 1: My friend's husband had an affair (their marriage was headed to divorce anyway but he began his affair while she was in the hospital). His affair partner was separated from her husband, had a very low income as a part-time nanny, was infertile and loved children. I think she saw my friend's husband as a golden ticket--high income, she'd get to be an insta-mom to 2 kids, etc. They are living together and she absolutely wants this to be a long term, serious thing.

Example 2: My friend had an affair with an engaged man (he was doing a temporary assignment in her office) and hooked up with a different man in a very long-term committed relationship (he later dumped the girlfriend, dated my friend and cheated on her too). Honestly, I think she's just lonely and desperate and I've seen numerous examples of morally questionable behavior from her. She felt badly about both affairs--but not enough to stop them.

Example 3: My husband once had a fling with someone. Ignoring the reasons why he did it which are their own story, the woman involved had serious mental issues (professional diagnoses, not just me speculating here). She certainly had no shame about the fact that he was married (she joked about being a mistress on her facebook page). I don't really know what her expectations were--they lived on opposite sides of the country and got together twice and neither had any plans to move, but she had built it into a very significant relationship in her head. She was angry at me when it looked like we were getting divorced (wtf?) and devastated when he broke it off with her.[/quote]

I totally believe those scenarios.  But what is your point?  For the women engaged/married to those cheating men, what does the motivation of the other women have to do with the fact that now they are in a relationship with someone who violated their trust in a horrible way?

If you change the motivation of the other woman/man and your spouse still cheats on you, the personality flaws of the other woman are irrelevant.  You've got bigger fish to fry:  what are you going to do with your cheating spouse?[/quote]

My point was to answer the original question (which said nothing about her husband having an affair and simply asked what type of woman does this) with the three examples I happen to know about in depth. Which I think show that different women have entirely different motivations and there is no "type" of woman who does this. I do think it's possible to wonder about this without absolving the married men in these scenarios. I don't blame the woman my husband cheated with for what he did--if it hadn't been her it would have been someone else. But she's still a trainwreck who makes incredibly poor decisions in many, many aspects of her life and sometimes I do wonder (more in a pitying way than a hateful way) how she got to be so irrevocably messed up. 
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