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[quote=Anonymous][/quote]
So if it says black tie, which is quite standard on formal invites, it is giving guidance only to the men since women are presumably not wearing tuxes.  Attire for black tie events for women does tend to vary - from fancy cocktail to ball gowns, and I would rather have them specify which it is on the invite.  Same goes for casual, where there is a greater range of choices.  I think business casual is a bad choice of words since it's not a business event, but at least it describes the appropriate attire for the men.

If you don't want to "lounge and look beautiful" then don't.  Not sure what being an aunt has to do with it.  Are aunts required to be frumpy?

I hope your children are excited to be participating in the wedding.  It is nice of your family to include them.  Maybe you can send them with your parents or another family member and keep your bitterness out of the events.[/quote]

Thank you. my children are exited. It's not that I don't want to lounge and look beautiful.  That sounds great.  What did bother me is the notion that young girls are raised to think they need to focus on catching a husband who can provide for them rather than on their their abilities to provide for themselves. But I'm getting over it. What also bothered me was that I thought it was a "fashion mistake", but the perspective that it is an attempt to make things easier and clearer is helpful. It would be nice if these dress codes were developed and clarified a bit.   OP[/quote]

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