Reply to DH out of work but kids still in daycare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, what about a middle ground?  Can you find part-time (cheaper) daycare and/or nanny share?

It can be really hard to find a job when you've got nothing to show work-wise on your resume for an extended period of time.  Harder even for a dad than a mom.  If tables were turned, I wouldn't say that it was a no-brainer for the OP to stay home.

I'd suggest trying to find a way to carve out time for OP's spouse to start his own business/network/search for jobs but still cut back on daycare expenses.[/quote]

Agree that you find the middle ground.  It doesn't seem right to me that it is all or nothing.  You need a budget and a bottom line number that makes sense for child care costs while the business isn't making money. DH should be looking for solutions on how it could work e.g. finding another family to share full-time slot so DH has maybe 3 days full-time and has to work the rest when you are home.  Someone mentioned free pre-school in DC, it may make sense to rent there if you aren't already there to take advantage of that.  Maybe DH can pick up part-time or temp work to help cover some of the costs of daycare.  I don't know if your MIL is in the area but DH could ask mom to help out and hire a sitter for some of the time.

I had a job I hated and I debated staying at home but the bottom line was I couldn't pay for daycare full-time indefinitely while looking for a new job.  I had a plan and discussed with DH the different alternatives and we came up with something we could both live with.  I think it isn't fair for your DH to make a decision unilaterally that impacts the family financially and it isn't fair for DH to do something that would make him very unhappy ( eg Full-time SAH if that isn't what he wants to do).  You are within your rights to say you support him but you have to work out what changes financially and household division of labor (like cooking, taking the kids out on the weekends, night time care, doctor appts, cleaning) you both can live with because it can't stay the same as when you were both had salaries and working full-time. However, you can still find something that works for both people.[/quote]

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