Reply to Everyone says that they are busy with their own lives, no time for me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to be the organizer, not just a joiner.  How many times have you invited folks over for a dinner party or bbq?  How many work lunches have you initiated?  How many volunteer events did you take leadership of, etc?

I remember when I found out a woman on our hall was sad that a group of us never invited her on our coffee runs.  She sat there for years and felt excluded.  Then another woman moved onto our hall and started going to coffee with us, and this finally set the first woman off and her misery all came out.

The new woman had simply said "hey, you guys going for coffee, can I come?" and we said sure.  After a few days, this new woman was the one who'd send the email around at 3 saying "coffee?"

We weren't excluding her.  There were literally dozens of people on our floor and maybe 4-6 of us who went regularly.  All she had to do was tag along OR form her own coffee run group.[/quote]

Not the OP, but tHis is very difficult for those of us who are introverts.  I have always preferred to be asked along so that I don't feel like I am "party-crashing".  I've been this way since I was a teenager when the who group I had lunch with everyday talked about weekend plans and never once included me in the plans.  Same in college.  I eventually made clear to my friends my tendencies, and they made a point to make sure I knew I was in the plans if I stayed quiet.

As for the OP, you need to find a place to meet people with common interests.  I found good friends at your age when I joined a running group.  DH did the same with other sports.   There is a place for you to meet the right people, but you need to find it.  I also agree that you need to be inviting to people too.   It's taken me years to find newer friends in my 40s, and those are people I know through my kids.  Also, be genuinely interested in the people you want to spend time with.  It's not about making friends just so you won't be alone.  It's about making friends to form a balanced and lasting friendship.[/quote]

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