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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am glad you're separating and getting counseling.  I've BTDT with my ex, and it started just like what you wrote.  Down to the part about trying to blame it on you and even suggest you're remembering it inaccurately or distorting the facts.

You wrote that you're separating to make him understand how serious this is, and "when you come back together" it would be with counseling, etc  - - you sound just like I did in the early stage too.  It isn't a "when" but an "if" you come back together.  IF he does the counseling on his own and together with you, and AFTER he has changed and demonstrated such over time, that you'd consider recoupling with him.

Definitely get support through a domestic violence center.  They know exactly how your mind is working as you move through this process, and how EASY it is to get sucked back in by a charmer, only it gets worse each time you allow him to do it and stay with him or take him back.  In my case it took me 6+ years to get fed up and realize I deserved way better.  That no man at all is better than an abusive one.  It was hard and I hated myself for staying when I was too afraid to leave for all kinds of reasons.

Get help and good luck![/quote]

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