Reply to What obligation, if any, do we have to older family members?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The way my siblings and I have been raised by my parents (and extended family too) - we all will take care of uncles, aunties, grandparents, siblings, nephews, nieces, parents, ILs, children, cousins etc.

I will take care of anyone I can take of.  Family, neighbors, coworkers, friends...everyone.

Of course, being able to take care of someone, and not needing someone to take care of you...happens only when you are raised to be functional and self-sufficient by the whole clan.  Rising tide raises all boats...

It is essential for more capable family members to ensure that they give the support needed to their relatives so everyone thrives and can be self-sufficient in the future.

It is extremely cultural mindset for us. [/quote]

[b]So if everybody is self-sufficient, then nobody would need help, no?[/b] I personally am done after raising kids and about to launch them, I've spent so much time on caretaking that literally nobody cares what my interests are or what I want, everybody just has a hand out since I'm the "capable" one. The burnout is real. At some point I want to live for myself, not take care of everyone else. [/quote]

Exactly. That is the reason that family interference is very high from the get go and younger generation is not allowed to fail at all.

For example -  lets assume that I have a complete waste of space sibling, then, it is in my interest to ensure that my nephew/niece succeed, so that they can take care of their parent in their old age, instead of me.

So, there is a mentality among the older generation to collectively nurture and guide everyone's  kids.   [/quote]

What version of self sufficiency has the younger generation giving so much help to the older. When does self sufficiency come in to play at all? It sounds deeply and dysfunctionally codependent.[/quote]

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