Reply to What obligation, if any, do we have to older family members?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dealing with this now. Mother is 79 and starting to lose it. But refuses any kind of senior care facility. Sibling is gone to Colorado and sends a periodic Thanks for taking care of Mom kind of message.

Feel stuck with this. Abandoning your mother isn't on anyone's list of things to do.

But I'm confined to the DC area while I deal with this. Not thrilled about the circumstances. And I hate my sister more and more for being so useless with this problem. [/quote]

My mother lives with my elder brother.  He recently became a widower.  Thankfully, both my brother and my mom are fairly well-to-do so they have all kind of help.

Since I and my other siblings do not help with the day-to-day care of my mom, we go for several weeks  to my elder brother's home to get his affairs sorted - selling property, decluttering, home remodelling, babysitting mom so he can go on  vacations, helping his adult kids, putting systems in place at home, representing the family in social occasions, attending the births, marriages and funerals of the families of our uncles and aunts...etc.[/quote]

Sounds like a functional family and I mean this sincerely! Unfortunately for the rest of us, there are more those ones who need help than the ones who can provide that help. Just like the OP who is the only offspring and there's a whole list of elderly relatives who have nobody to help. So one person to help 5 (an aunt, 2 uncles, plus parents) is clearly not doable!!! My own mom passed recently. I live on another continent. I have to go and arrange the affairs and take on the cleanup. It's difficult and thankless and I wish it wasn't all on me. [/quote]

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