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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "freshman drinking"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been reading through this and thinking back to my teen years. And nothing - absolutely nothing - my parents said to me about drinking and drugs got through or made any difference to me. I just kept it up. How can you turn this into a life lesson that actually makes a difference? Taking away the phone, ok. Grounding, ok. But what happens after that? Has anything anyone done actually made a difference in their kid's behaviors or choices? How do you know?[/quote] And what my parents said did get through to me and siblings (none of us drank in HS). It won’t work for every kid, but studies show that parental attitude/what you tell your kid DOES make a difference, statistically speaking. [/quote] How did your parents talk to you and your siblings?[/quote] There was no magic formula… they made sure we knew the risks of teen drinking, and that it was illegal, and [b]they always broadcast the expectation that their kids would not do it[/b]. They did check on parties to be sure they’d have an adult present, but we still went out with friends and socialized. But we did not drink, smoke, or do drugs. None of the 5 of us. It helped that we found friend groups who also didn’t. [/quote] It is surprising how effective this is and also surprising how few parents do it. Worked for me and my siblings and worked for my teens. I do believe there are kids who are determined to do it, no matter what. But I think this is a minority. I have parented three teens and there are a lot of parents who view teenage high school drinking as normal, part of life, inevitable, rite of passage, I drank and turned out fine, best you can do is try to make sure they don't drive when drunk (though some don't even seem to bother about that), etc. There is a common mindset that kids should "learn" how to drink at home while living with their parents and if you don't do this your child will become the out of control drunk in college. There are parents who allow drinking in their home and think this makes them good parents. The whole thing is pretty fascinating. Lots of mental gymnastics. [/quote]
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