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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That's a lot of new info, OP. I would also resent the money just streaming out of our household for expensive hobbies and his parents.

Since you will be going to one income (who knows for how long) you need to sit down and talk about these expenses. Now is the time to get him to cut back and have a budget. You can (pretend to) look for work or not, but the reality is that you both need to budget for one income. Now is the perfect time to put all that on the table. If he won't cut back or stick to a budget then you have huge problems, one income or two. [/quote]

He's not going to cut back or budget. We've had those talks.  He’ll spend as much as he makes and keep working until he can't. I don't think I can continue as I have for the last
20 years.  Maybe a little contract work makes sense to cover my own expenses and save a little more for college, but I don't make enough to cover our expenses if he ever lost his job, he makes enough to cover our main expenses without my income, no matter how much I work or don't work, I'm still going to be the default parent. This upcoming job loss has me looking deeper into why I'm doing this to myself. My kids don't even appreciate the college savings.  Only one of them is actually driven in school.  [/quote]

I’m sorry. Retiring in 40s is an absolute luxury. Just because you thought you had shagged a gravy train doesn’t mean you can; clearly your DH already had plans for the fruits of his labors, and I can’t believe this came as a surprise, you just thought he would change with kids etc. [/quote]

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