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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"They’re all really nice people..." OP, they are nice to YOU. They were not nice and accepting to your mother. I had to cut my entire birth family off because they so emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive to me. I had an older sibling once tell me when I was a teenager how they didn't understand why I was even born. But these same relatives who tried to snuff out my existence would happily engage my children, who I exposed to them irregularly. They would send cards and gifts to my kids, but never to me. Please keep in mind that they once celebrated my birthday growing up. Are you beginning to glimpse the abuse cycle? Abusive families will be nice to the children of the children/siblings/nieces/nephews of the people they abused. They still send my kids cards even thought I went no contact, as an eff you...to me. They are nice to my kids, but were horrible to me. It's a furtherance of the abuse cycle. We, as your mother, will never fully tell you what we went through because it would make you cry. [b]Believe your mother.[/b][/quote]

You can "beleive" someone and validate their feelings while at the same time think their response is an overreaction.  Look at the other thread where the poser is thinking of going no-contact with her nephew because her son wasn't invited to his wedding.  Valid to have hurt feelings?  Of course.  Would it justify cutting off the relationship?  For me no.

FWIW, your ideas of what constitutes abuse is interesting to me (not sending you birthday gifts as an adult, OMG!) so I can understand why your kids aren't interested bowing to your wishes.[/quote]

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