Reply to Picky 7 yo's eating getting worse

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I can relate to so much of what you are saying. I want to commend you first of all for all the work you have done. This stuff is really hard and you have achieved a lot getting him to eat what he does. You have obviously done a lot of things right.

Eating well has always been a priority to me, too, and if I wrote out what my 7-year-old will eat, I am sure you'd say that it is balanced, diverse, and relatively long by "kid standards." I am grateful for that but I am still frustrated by it because my son is unbelievably rigid. Everything has to be completely simple (no sauce, unmixed, not even touching). That rules out any casserole, pasta dish, etc. Many smells and textures make him gag, truly gag, eyes watering and everything. Sometimes seeing an unwanted food on his plate ruins his appetite. He doesn't even make a fuss anymore--thankfully we have moved beyond that--but it is like the horror of the offending food incapacitates him. He hasn't tried anything new since he was two probably. When he lets go of a food--and he only ever lets go since he will never try anything new--and I realize the list is ever shrinking, I get very frustrated (though I don't show it of course, meals are pleasant, no pressure and so on!). But aren't they supposed to get better about food as they get older, not worse?!

Obviously this is a struggle for us, too, so I have no answers. I can tell you a few things that have helped me, though. I wonder if your child is inflexible and intense or controlling about other things as well? Mine is and he also has a lot of anxiety. When he is generally feeling well and happy, he is at his most open to food. When he is struggling emotionally, he seems much more sensitive and irritable and needs to exert control over his environment, including food. In some ways I can gauge how he feels by the dinner experience and it is a sign to me to back off and not push--it just doesn't help in any way. In fact, it really makes him dig in his heels. If I lay off, he comes around once he feels better.

The other thing that has helped me is to separate the nutrition part of food from the parent's task of educating the child. My son takes a few different supplements including one of those "super food" type powders you can blend into shakes or chocolate milk. I also never waste calories--I make all cookies and muffins in the house with "sneaky chef" type recipes so any dessert he ever has (usually for lunch at school) also has beans or spinach or something he doesn't typically eat. This way I am pretty comfortable that he is getting enough nutrients and I don't have to deal with that stress hanging over me. Also I am less tempted to cater to his whims just to get him to eat something. I make dinner and if he eats it I am thrilled, if he eats part that is fine, if he eats nothing, I can let it go.

Last, we do not do any snacks during the day which generally makes my kids pretty hungry for dinner, but I do give my seven-year-old a decent snack a few hours after dinner. For us snack is usually a couple different fruits, a yogurt, and maybe nuts (almonds, cashews) or something like sunflower seeds. He eats the same snack regardless of whether or not he has had dinner. I think he does better with four meals to tell you the truth.

I don't know if this helps and I still struggle with it but I can tell you that my son is very healthy so I am happy about that.[/quote]

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