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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You hold an ace in your pocket.  You now have the upper hand in the marriage. You have zero fkks to give. Own it and enjoy it !![/quote]

I didn’t realize I was still in a marriage, she ended it when I became the forsaken one.  I did lose the comfort of happy memories and I lost the family that I sacrificed all of my other dreams to create with her.   If I wanted to shame my wife into making me happy, wouldn’t that just create more resentments and comparisons?  I get the fantasy, but I would rather play with someone I love, than live it with some incapable of love.[/quote]
TBH you sound very self-pitying and lacking in introspection. Did she really cheat out of the blue, or are there things that you contributed to the breakdown of the marriage that you need to face so you stop living in this pure victim space? [/quote]

I’m not saying that I am perfect or that I wasn’t working a lot to support her staying home.  We had challenges that were normal in my eyes and unspoken until she finally admitted it.   I am self pitying relating to this topic and that’s why I asked the question.

Having responsibility in the breakdown of our relationship doesn’t change the fact that I am the only victim of her actions.  I wasn’t asking if I could have been more ideal as a partner, I could have been better.  We both could have been better, but I loved her and believed in us.  I wasn’t happy with life at the time and haven’t been since, but cheating was never an option I entertained.  I believed short term difficulties needed to be endured for long term gain, but I was wrong.  The only thing I want now is a little joy, a future and to see someone I respect in the mirror again.

Your comment was really helpful, thanks for blaming me for her lack of integrity and my inability to get over it.  Your betrayed spouse was lucky to have you in their life.[/quote]

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