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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 22-year-old son graduated from college in March 2025 and landed a very high-paying job—$170K plus stock options—with an AI startup. He left the job after only three months because, according to him, it was impacting his mental health. He has not worked for the past six months. Currently, he is living at home and spends most of his time at the gym, learning Spanish, and playing golf, guitar, and piano.

My husband wants him to get a job and move out of the house, but my son says he wants to spend another year 'finding' himself. My husband and son argue all the time over this; on Monday, it got so heated that my husband told him to leave. My son left and moved in with my estranged father, whom I have not spoken to in twenty years (I am his only child). My husband has asked me to talk to my father and ask him to kick my son out so that he is forced to find a job and live independently.

What would you do?[/quote]
Are you still paying for his phone, car insurance, etc. If so, cut it off. [/quote]

This is OP.  I stopped paying for his phone, car insurance, gym membership, and golf fee last month.  I heard that my father covers that cost and gives him an unlimited credit card.[/quote]
OP, you began this thread asking what you should do about your estranged father supporting your 22 yo son. Most of the thread has been about whether you’re a troll and judgments about what kind of bad parenting must have led to this situation.

What you should do is text your son and see if he wants to meet for coffee. [b]We are living in a time of unprecedented levels of estrangement.[/b] Do you want to be estranged from your son? Whatever is going on with him now, it’s not the time to exert control or cast judgement. Just listen. You aren’t paying anymore so your husband can relax about that. Focus on the relationship. Try to keep the lines of communication open.[/quote]

Kids have been raised to believe they deserve everything, then they become adults and parents (rightfully) cut them off and expect them to make their own way. Only these kids have no idea how to make their own way. Parents, do better. Raise your kids to understand you have to work hard to succeed. Make them accountable. Don't baby them. And mothers were their sons, so desperate to keep them, like a desperate girlfriend chasing after a boy. Reflect. This is pathetic behavior. [/quote]

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