Reply to The crushing guilt of not being able to give my kids a better education

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "The crushing guilt of not being able to give my kids a better education"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could have written this OP. I'm just so sad about the low quality education my kid is getting. We tutor and supplement at home, but what they're learning is so far below grade level. [b]All of the classroom kids do poorly on their standardized tests because they aren't taught that material because some kids are still illiterate in 3rd grade, can't do basic math. The teacher is basically only teaching remedial math.[/b] I have 3 kids and 20k a year for private is just out of our budget. I wish charter schools or magnet schools were allowed.[/quote]

Yes! It took me a long time to realize that the teacher was teaching the lowest kids and neglecting the middle to top achievers. I guess I just assumed being in a well-off, well-educated area must provide my kid with a better education than I got in a small town full of high school drop outs and alcoholics.[/quote]

I'm in a nice middle-class town in flyover country next to the towns with the "good" school districts.   There is no within-grade "gifted" education anywhere in our county's public schools.  We have math acceleration tracking starting in 6th grade and that's about it unless a kid is two grade levels above and then you can get them an IEP of sorts.  Educators in our area have bought heavily into the myth that true differentiated instruction is broadly feasible in mixed ability classrooms. Instead our bright kids work at too slow a pace until APs arrive in high school and have to put up with poor students' "behaviors" .

I don't think the private schools around me are a fit for our family so not worth the money.  But I spent a ton of $ on remedial in-person math tutoring for my 7-12th graders and it did not strengthen my kids' grades and SAT results as much as I expected.  I should have started younger when they were getting "All A's" in elementary school.  When I thought things were fine because I trusted the school evaluations were meaningful.

I agree with the people above who say that a parent of elementary students can do a lot themselves to increase engagement with the world, just like a good formal teacher. You can also ask classroom teachers if your kid can do free reading in school if they finish their work quickly.

If you are college-educated and can handle everyday math with accuracy, can read a diagnostic report, and can sit companionably with your child while they do work, you can use a fairly cheap subscription program from IXL.com to diagnose your kid's Math and English weaknesses and work on them.  However, you may need to incentivize them because drilling is boring.

I further agree that lots of reading, visits to the library, attending community events, etc. can compensate somewhat for a boring elementary school experience.  Even relative nowheresvilles have a lot of fun things to do if you think outside the box.

I made deliberate K-12 choices and had the funds to choose differently, but I still see some negative consequences of my deliberate choices.  I can't know, and I don't assume, that the "road not taken" would have turned out better.  OP, even if you had 3x$20K tuition, you'd most likely still have some regrets.  I think that's part of conscientious parenting. [/quote]

Excellent insights!! Especially about regrets when you’ve “optimized” schooling choices. The road is long. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics