Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just need to sit in my sadness.

We’re in a completely average public school. My kids are unhappy…behaviors, time outside, not being challenged.

There’s nothing we can do. I can’t homeschool, and on no planet can we afford private school. Those I know with kids in private schools, have grandparents paying. I desperately wish my kids could have a different experience.

We aren’t in the DMV.

I am sorry OP but you can fix this.

Yes you can. You can read and read and read with your kids. You can talk to them every single night at the dinner table or breakfast or while driving them to activities.

Homeschooling is not the answer you are.

Weekends pick a weekend a month where you go to a free museam.

If you get snap or chip or Medicaid you can get into museums, theaters, symphony, ballet, gardens etc for $2

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this OP. I'm just so sad about the low quality education my kid is getting. We tutor and supplement at home, but what they're learning is so far below grade level. All of the classroom kids do poorly on their standardized tests because they aren't taught that material because some kids are still illiterate in 3rd grade, can't do basic math. The teacher is basically only teaching remedial math. I have 3 kids and 20k a year for private is just out of our budget. I wish charter schools or magnet schools were allowed.

Yes! It took me a long time to realize that the teacher was teaching the lowest kids and neglecting the middle to top achievers. I guess I just assumed being in a well-off, well-educated area must provide my kid with a better education than I got in a small town full of high school drop outs and alcoholics.

I'm in a nice middle-class town in flyover country next to the towns with the "good" school districts. There is no within-grade "gifted" education anywhere in our county's public schools. We have math acceleration tracking starting in 6th grade and that's about it unless a kid is two grade levels above and then you can get them an IEP of sorts. Educators in our area have bought heavily into the myth that true differentiated instruction is broadly feasible in mixed ability classrooms. Instead our bright kids work at too slow a pace until APs arrive in high school and have to put up with poor students' "behaviors" .

I don't think the private schools around me are a fit for our family so not worth the money. But I spent a ton of $ on remedial in-person math tutoring for my 7-12th graders and it did not strengthen my kids' grades and SAT results as much as I expected. I should have started younger when they were getting "All A's" in elementary school. When I thought things were fine because I trusted the school evaluations were meaningful.

I agree with the people above who say that a parent of elementary students can do a lot themselves to increase engagement with the world, just like a good formal teacher. You can also ask classroom teachers if your kid can do free reading in school if they finish their work quickly.

If you are college-educated and can handle everyday math with accuracy, can read a diagnostic report, and can sit companionably with your child while they do work, you can use a fairly cheap subscription program from IXL.com to diagnose your kid's Math and English weaknesses and work on them. However, you may need to incentivize them because drilling is boring.

I further agree that lots of reading, visits to the library, attending community events, etc. can compensate somewhat for a boring elementary school experience. Even relative nowheresvilles have a lot of fun things to do if you think outside the box.

I made deliberate K-12 choices and had the funds to choose differently, but I still see some negative consequences of my deliberate choices. I can't know, and I don't assume, that the "road not taken" would have turned out better. OP, even if you had 3x$20K tuition, you'd most likely still have some regrets. I think that's part of conscientious parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just need to sit in my sadness.

We’re in a completely average public school. My kids are unhappy…behaviors, time outside, not being challenged.

There’s nothing we can do. I can’t homeschool, and on no planet can we afford private school. Those I know with kids in private schools, have grandparents paying. I desperately wish my kids could have a different experience.

We aren’t in the DMV.

You probably can homeschool in some fashion unless you are certified braindead. Find some local homeschool groups to get support and accurate info. Some working parents do the bulk of the teaching on weekends and during the evenings.

It’s not the learning, it’s the logistics. Who will watch them? School is essentially child care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just need to sit in my sadness.

We’re in a completely average public school. My kids are unhappy…behaviors, time outside, not being challenged.

There’s nothing we can do. I can’t homeschool, and on no planet can we afford private school. Those I know with kids in private schools, have grandparents paying. I desperately wish my kids could have a different experience.

We aren’t in the DMV.

You probably can homeschool in some fashion unless you are certified braindead. Find some local homeschool groups to get support and accurate info. Some working parents do the bulk of the teaching on weekends and during the evenings.

Anonymous wrote:I just need to sit in my sadness.

We’re in a completely average public school. My kids are unhappy…behaviors, time outside, not being challenged.

There’s nothing we can do. I can’t homeschool, and on no planet can we afford private school. Those I know with kids in private schools, have grandparents paying. I desperately wish my kids could have a different experience.

We aren’t in the DMV.

Anonymous wrote:I just need to sit in my sadness.

We’re in a completely average public school. My kids are unhappy…behaviors, time outside, not being challenged.

There’s nothing we can do. I can’t homeschool, and on no planet can we afford private school. Those I know with kids in private schools, have grandparents paying. I desperately wish my kids could have a different experience.

We aren’t in the DMV.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

My kids will be set for a high performing, excellent high school because that’s where I teach. They’ll be able to go for free to a really exceptional school (again, not in DMV). I just need to get them through this crappy elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this OP. I'm just so sad about the low quality education my kid is getting. We tutor and supplement at home, but what they're learning is so far below grade level. All of the classroom kids do poorly on their standardized tests because they aren't taught that material because some kids are still illiterate in 3rd grade, can't do basic math. The teacher is basically only teaching remedial math. I have 3 kids and 20k a year for private is just out of our budget. I wish charter schools or magnet schools were allowed.

Yes! It took me a long time to realize that the teacher was teaching the lowest kids and neglecting the middle to top achievers. I guess I just assumed being in a well-off, well-educated area must provide my kid with a better education than I got in a small town full of high school drop outs and alcoholics.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

My kids will be set for a high performing, excellent high school because that’s where I teach. They’ll be able to go for free to a really exceptional school (again, not in DMV). I just need to get them through this crappy elementary school.