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[quote=Anonymous]DP here.

I am South Asian and we have a culture of 40 days for post-partum recovery.  Thankfully, my mum came for that period. My only task for first 2 months was to nurse the baby on demand.  My mum and DH did all the care of the baby - burping, infant massage, bathing, rocking to sleep, holding her, changing diaper.

My mum and DH also took care of my meals,  any help I needed etc. There were some strict medicinal healing practices too that my mum made sure that I followed (drinking warm liquids only, eating specific foods, staying in a warm room and keeping warm,  not being exposed to any cold, oiling my hair, not watching TV or looking at any screen, hot medicinal massages, hot water medicinal baths, some specific hygiene routines).

We had a weekly cleaning lady for 3 months (later came every 2 weeks). As well as a daily hourly person,  who also helped with buying groceries, food prep and laundry - for the first two months.  Later she was available on an hourly basis as need be for organizing, prepping for food, parties etc.  The first 40 days, very few people were allowed to meet me or the baby, and after that, we had a ceremony in which the baby (with a traditional feast) was introduced to our guests.  So we had outsourced that bit also.

I think the first 40 days of recovery tradition is so strong in our culture that the entire extended family prepares for it. Also, we don't balk at the cost of outsourcing stuff or traditional customs (prayers, feast) that we follow - because these costs are factored into our budget.  Many a times family will also chip in.  Many a times, women go to their parental home to give birth so that they are well looked after and usually the elders will pay all the bills related to the birth and postpartum recovery.

30 yrs after my first baby,  I don't know if I needed that much help - but I felt very supported, special, grateful and glad that I was looked after so well.  I hope that I am able to do the same for my DD and DIL in future.

I was also extremely lucky that I was a SAHM and I did not have to return to work or put my babies in daycare. I think that is WAY more stressful for parents and baby than getting the postpartum help. In today's day and age, my DD and DIL will probably not have the luxury to SAH or take a break from working - and DH and I often talk about how we will support them with both postpartum help and childcare.   A child/grandchild is a treasure for the whole family and everyone needs to pitch in. [/quote]

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