Reply to Parents are overwhelmed w/ selling house and downsizing

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[quote=Anonymous]I did this for parents. Logistically, be prepared to do almost all the work. They thought about it for years and toured a couple places. I went with them on their favorite and read the documents and figured out if it was affordable for them and how to move the money etc. When there was availability they said yes but had no idea of next steps. Moving company I hired was a big help. They were kind and sat down with them and gave them tips and color codes tags for keep, maybe and not keeping and had suggestions. They later spent some time doing this exercise and just that wore them down. I took over the majority from there and moved the move date way up because even the thought of the transition was taking a major toll. I took carloads away to donation centers and dumps. Distributed some items to family members with their blessing. I arranged everything regarding selling their house and movers and junk haulers.  The worst part was the stress I could see on my parents during this relatively short window of a months. They took took many chances of reaching things and climbing on things and I would get angry at the risks they were taking while I was trying to orchestrate this whole thing. For the last week I surprised them with pack your bags for a few days - you are staying at my house while I finish. They were relieved and it was much better not to have them present for the home stretch and watch their things go away. Got there favorite keep items moved in and arranged and then took them to their new place. The next weeks were tremendous to get their house on market. It was an awful time and I was physically and emotionally exhausted but it got done. They moved about three to five years after they should have, I concluded. I was a little old for all this concentrated effort myself frankly. Also know that a big move sets the elderly back for awhile until they adjust.

So my suggestion to OP is get them on a couple waitlists or identify a couple options, sit down with them and make a list of what they want to definitely keep (have them think of it while sitting at a table versus walking around the house so the really important things rise to the top) and start clearing everything you can on visits while they are deciding. The action might help them move forward with a decision. If not, some of your work will already be done. When it happens do it as quickly as possible. Don’t drag it out. Make a couple weeks timeline and stick to it.  Get an idea of their money and resources while they can still explain it to you so you know what parameters you are working within. The role reversal is tough. Good luck![/quote]

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