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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's more than just in literature or movies. From the time I was a teenager, relatives or even random friends of my parents were always asking if I had a boyfriend. By the time I was in law school it was whether I was dating someone I was going to marry. It's one million tiny little messages that say no matter how smart you are, no matter what you're actually interested in, no matter what your career, your community is judging you based on your mate.[/quote]

Everyone grows up with a million messages. Men are told all the time that they need to look out for women, protect women, take care of women, open doors for women, put themselves in danger for women, to deny their own feelings and cater to the woman's feelings etc, etc. This shapes how they will act and the decisions they make, just like your million messages shape you.

Everyone grows up with family messages, societal messages, gender messages, cultural messages, religious messages. At the end of the day, each individual has to make their own choices for themselves. They have to look through the noise and be who they want to be and do what they want to do. Many, many people choose to not follow the messages that their family / society / culture / religion / gender norms told them to be when they were children / adults and to have different values, beliefs, attitudes, and make different decisions.

If you are going to say that women can't be responsible for themselves or any decisions they make as they are only able to be who they were told to be as children, then the same holds true for men - and men can then also only be who they were told to be and can't be responsible or accountable for themselves or their decisions. [/quote]

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