Reply to Are your parents fit and active in their 70s?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents were pretty active into their mid-late 70s. Dad golfed 2-3x a week (they lived in a golf community) and Mom went to a "Curves" gym that had a nice community.

Unfortunately, Dad's health started to decline, Mom's caretaking responsibilities meant she stopped her exercise routine, and her mobility declined quickly. Dad died at 85. By 80, mom needed a walker. She's now 84 and PT has helped some so she mostly gets around with a cane. But, still, really doesn't want to do much away from home.[/quote]

That's sad.  Couldn't she [b]carve out time for her exercise routine while serving as his caretaker?[/b]  [/quote]

DP, but this is really hard. Lots of older people don't want strangers in their homes. Sometimes the caretaking spouse won't take time for themselves and sometimes the care-needing spouse won't let them (my mom wants my dad around all the time but "doesn't need an aide"). Adult kids are busy or far away.

If OP is trying to future proof for this, she should be saving for eldercare services and also setting agreed-on triggers for activating those services. [/quote]

We should all be thinking about this.  My husband is older, and I plan to hire out services when he needs help.  I'm already well versed in his whining to manipulate me, and I've learned through therapy to let him do that without changing my plans and behavior.  My mom is going to face this sooner than I - my dad is the same age as her, but much less healthy.  I don't want to see her decline when she becomes his caretaker.  Her generation of women is more people pleasing and has a harder time self-advocating. [/quote]

I've seen this scenario play out with my IL's. The most frustrating to watch was MIL saying she couldn't make time for her own PT because of her husband's PT appointments years after a stroke. He was already in a wheelchair, and now she is too.[/quote]

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