My mom is in excellent health and keeps up with my kids, my dad is on dialysis and can barely leave his chair. My mom is becoming depressed because she likes traveling, day trips and exploring and my dad won't/can't do it. I encourage her to go alone but she has never done anything alone and doesn't even own a smartphone. I think she wants me to be her travel buddy but with small kids I'm not there yet.
He spent the last 30 years in a recliner with minimal exercise.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter - their fitness level - people in their 70's are going to get tired. Or they are going to hide it. They may talk a big game re: all they do to stay fit. Older age with aches and pains comes for us all. Don't kid yourselves, thinking there is some secret sauce.

Ordinary people of all fitness levels age relatively the same, unless they are an outliner with a chronic condition.

Of course people in their 70s will get tired. But they also hopefully can walk up stairs and be as active as possible.

It doesn't matter - their fitness level - people in their 70's are going to get tired. Or they are going to hide it. They may talk a big game re: all they do to stay fit. Older age with aches and pains comes for us all. Don't kid yourselves, thinking there is some secret sauce.

Ordinary people of all fitness levels age relatively the same, unless they are an outliner with a chronic condition.

Very much so! They only got old in their 80s

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents were pretty active into their mid-late 70s. Dad golfed 2-3x a week (they lived in a golf community) and Mom went to a "Curves" gym that had a nice community.

Unfortunately, Dad's health started to decline, Mom's caretaking responsibilities meant she stopped her exercise routine, and her mobility declined quickly. Dad died at 85. By 80, mom needed a walker. She's now 84 and PT has helped some so she mostly gets around with a cane. But, still, really doesn't want to do much away from home.

That's sad. Couldn't she carve out time for her exercise routine while serving as his caretaker?

DP, but this is really hard. Lots of older people don't want strangers in their homes. Sometimes the caretaking spouse won't take time for themselves and sometimes the care-needing spouse won't let them (my mom wants my dad around all the time but "doesn't need an aide"). Adult kids are busy or far away.

If OP is trying to future proof for this, she should be saving for eldercare services and also setting agreed-on triggers for activating those services.

We should all be thinking about this. My husband is older, and I plan to hire out services when he needs help. I'm already well versed in his whining to manipulate me, and I've learned through therapy to let him do that without changing my plans and behavior. My mom is going to face this sooner than I - my dad is the same age as her, but much less healthy. I don't want to see her decline when she becomes his caretaker. Her generation of women is more people pleasing and has a harder time self-advocating.

I've seen this scenario play out with my IL's. The most frustrating to watch was MIL saying she couldn't make time for her own PT because of her husband's PT appointments years after a stroke. He was already in a wheelchair, and now she is too.

Parents are 70 and not in shape. My mother does limited yard work and will not be able to walk 3 days after. Both had desk jobs and were never physical active. Parents liked to collect equipment - 14 bikes, skis, exercise bike, but have never seen them ride a bike or ski in my life.

78 and 80, always walked

78 year old tires easily and has near constant back pain but exercises and is mobile

80 year old has pacemaker and is on blood pressure meds but is otherwise in excellent shape

I hope they have many more years ahead!

Anonymous wrote:On vacation with my parents and they tire easily and aren’t the most fit. They weren’t really ever active (no regular exercise, etc.) and I’m thinking a lot about the future when I’m in my 70s.

If your parents are fit, what sorts of things have they done to get that way or stay that way? Did they eat certain things, exercise a certain way, etc.

Thanks!

Everybody, and every body, is different. My parents were incredibly active into their late-70s, as in downhill skiing in winter and white water rafting in summer. When they hit 80 and 82 is when they slowed down. My ILs were going strong into their early 90s.

My parents have always remained physically active and strong. My mom is 84 and barely spends any time sitting down. This past spring, she laid down over 600 lbs of mulch around the flower beds on her property, a little bit at a time. She moves heavy items around and carries a vacuum cleaner up and down the stairs. She has incredible balance, strength and stamina.

My dad was doing really physically demanding yard work 2-3 days before he was diagnosed with a cancer so aggressive that it killed him in less than 7 weeks at age 79.

I need to become much more physically active if I want to emulate them.

Sounds like it’s important to establish good routines and practices early on.

Both my parents are in their 70s. They are fit and active and don't smoke or drink alcohol. They are not super athletic but both walk a lot every day and travel internationally for weeks at a time.

My mom is in her late 70s. She’s been working out five days a week for her entire retirement, and as frequently as she could when she was working full time. She’s incredibly healthy.

Both of my parents are early 80s. They play tennis 3-4x a week and travel all the time. They also play bridge and entertain a lot. Only one of their parents lives past 80 so we’re all lucky they’re in such great shape.

83 year old mom plays tennis 1-2 times per week with other older players, always played once a week before retiring. Takes a short walk every day even if she can only get 20 minutes in. Lots of PT vs. sitting around resting even for a small injury. Sees sports medicine doctors vs. geriatrician for aches and pains.

Yes, my mom does yoga multiple times a week and my father cycles, both outside and indoors. They both also lift weights and walk their two large dogs at least a mile daily.