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[quote=Anonymous]My first we had no help lined up. She was born early and my parents happened to be in town when she came home and were anti-help. Like I ordered a few take out meals extra and my dad said he wasn’t hungry but then - while I was pumping - ate both my meals (dinner and lunch). He “helped” by paying for the food, but didn’t go pick it up. My mom “helped” by offering to go shopping with me (24 hrs post partum) for cute baby outfits and by putting all our laundry in our condo’s washing machines (she put in 3 loads) but then leaving for their hotel while it was running so I had to switch it, get it, etc. It was awful.

We had to feed our daughter every two hours (and set alarms to do that) and take her in daily to the hospital or pediatrician for blood draws (jaundice) and weigh-ins. They also told me I had to sterilize my pump parts (she was early and not nursing - barley was bottle feeding) and I didn’t have spares so I was doing that after each pump and getting no sleep.

After 2 days my parents left. After 4 we called my MIL in tears. She (a working nurse at the time) never took time off - she’d have entire years where she didn’t take a day off. She took 6 days with little notice. She came down and slept on our sofa (we were in a studio) and did everything. She made me breakfast while I pumped, stocked us up on toilet paper etc; cooked meals and froze them; changed our baby; took the middle of the night bottle  from me as soon as I pumped so I could go back to sleep without then having to stay up and try to get my DD to eat (which sometimes took 45 mins or so) etc. She also came to appointments and asked helpful questions, supported my judgment when I thought the pediatrician’s opinion seemed off (I changed to someone else in the practice) and regularly stripped our DD and laid her in a sunny patch to help with her jaundice. It was a much needed re-set.

With our second we arranged for her to come for 2 weeks. I had no tearing, tons of milk and a baby who loved to eat and sleep etc. She was such an easy baby. Nonetheless, another set of hands for cooking, helping me get naps, keeping me company etc was great. My DH gets paid parental leave (I don’t) so he actually worked those two weeks and the started his paid leave when she left. [/quote]

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