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[quote=Anonymous]OP, many of us have these voices in our heads. The voice that tells you that you are a loser is incorrect, but it is, in a weird way, trying to help. It is trying to protect you (perhaps from getting your hopes up, then having your hopes dashed). If you already “know” you are a loser, then no one can hurt you by calling you that.

But here is the problem: that voice knows only one script. It can say one sentence only, and it says it over and over again (“you have to know you’re a loser, so no one can hurt you by telling you that you’re a loser.”). Maybe it knows variations of that sentence, but it always and only offers the same message. So it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you do right, it will keep repeating that word.

I have found it helps to give the voice a name. Turn it into a character — one whose motives might be protective but whose methods are all wrong. You can’t keep the character out of your life, you can’t help hearing its voice, but you can say, “okay, Patty, but you’d say that no matter WHAT I did, so I’m not sure you’re a reliable narrator here.”

If you are willing, I’d love to hear something you did well, or that you did right. It can be something small — you pet a cat, you organized a drawer, you washed your socks in the last month. I’ll bet there are many things. Heck, I’ll name something you did right: you articulated something many of us feel, and in so doing, you reminded us not to trust the cruelest voices in our heads. So thank you for that, [/quote]

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