Reply to 35, pregnant, and unwed.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Truly, I do not judge you in that I also got pregnant before getting married. And we are doing very well, so I don't think it means your relationship is doomed by any means.

What I do think is a little odd is that you want to have things both ways: You want your dad to give "permission" for you to get married and have a big traditional wedding. But you also want to be a 35-year-old woman who can make her own decisions about when to have a baby and with whom. Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too, but not here. I would let go of the idea that your dad is going to enthusiastically "bless" this wedding. If you trust your fiance and yourself, go forward with confidence. If not, ask yourself why.

Also:If you're planning to have a courthouse wedding, what's the holdup? Just do it now. [/quote]

I agree with this - but it is SOOO hard to break yourself away from the indoctrination that your family has clearly instilled of some idea of purity and rituals of religion.

You want the baby. You’re 35. Do you love your partner? Because honestly, you don’t even need to get married. You can keep on as you are together until you decide and still commit to raising this baby together. But if you love him and truly want to marry, go for it.

You’re going to find once you have your baby that all of your family’s nonsense is just that - nonsense. You will love that baby. And you will make your own way. But you need to start now being ok with people not agreeing with everything you do or the way you do it. They don’t have agency over what you do.[/quote]

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