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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you sure that the all-hours laptop use isn't about something not related to school, like social media or something else? And she's just making it seem like school? If she has ADHD and is getting diverted, she may not even really appreciate how much time she is losing to diversions. I'd keep a better eye on her usage.

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She's not on social media.  I have gone through long periods where I've monitored her computer usage closely. A little more than half of her time is spent on actual homework - which goes painstakingly slow, or she just gets stuck.  She says her brain stops working and feels empty.   A lot of it is massively inefficient use of her time - spending exorbitant amounts of time on things that clearly don't matter.

She also takes "brain rot" breaks which often go too long.  I've discouraged her from doing this, and take movement breaks instead.  I've tried to drag her out for a quick walk.  If she must do the brain rot breaks, I suggest setting a timer. But like many of my suggestions and urgings, she just doesn't listen to anything we say.

She is also not on any social media and is completely disinterested in any kind of social apps or even texting her friends. [/quote]

You need to actually parent. Not "suggest". Take the device away, period. No brain rot. Your "gentle" approach is failing, can't you see that?  People are being harsh to you because you seem to very much need a wake up call. You say she is stubborn and uncooperative, I say anxiety disorder and OCD and maybe autistic rigidity. Maybe rejection sensitive dysphoria. Read up on the SPACE protocol-- it's designed to not require any cooperation from the kid, at all.

Speak with the school about homework. That way the reduction in workload can come from the school and she can still feel like she is doing well academically, rather than you telling her it's fine if she gets bad grades.[/quote]

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