Reply to Need advice about serious issues in a private boarding school (New York). We are new to the US and don’t know what to do

Forum Index » Private & Independent Schools

Reply to "Need advice about serious issues in a private boarding school (New York). We are new to the US and don’t know what to do"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Lina2025]Hello everyone. We are an international family and my son (12) recently started attending a private boarding school in New York. We have been here less than 3 months, and unfortunately we have already faced multiple serious issues, and I truly don’t know what to do.

1. Medical negligence

My son had an infected ingrown toenail with pus. I repeatedly emailed the school nurse asking for help and daily care. The condition always improved when he was home on weekends, and worsened during the school week. I asked several times to take him to a podiatrist. Instead, they first took him to an Urgent Care and gave him antibiotics, which didn’t help. Later they finally took him to a podiatrist, but still the care was inconsistent. Last week the nurse wrote to me suggesting that I should take him home indefinitely to treat him, even though he feels fine, has no temperature and is not contagious.

2. Secret Zoom meeting without my knowledge

Because the nurse started accusing me by email of being a bad mother and refusing medical care (which is absolutely false), I asked to schedule a Zoom call with the director. While I was in class, she scheduled it 15 minutes later without notifying me and held the call with the school principal behind my back. They clearly didn’t expect the recording to be sent to me.

I received the full Zoom recording and transcript, and I was shocked:
	•	They discussed me and my child in a humiliating tone
	•	They used profanity about me (principal said “f***ing unbelievable” etc.)
	•	They called my son “silly kid”
	•	They said I “don’t care” and accused me of neglect
	•	They said I refused medical help, although I have written proof that I asked for it many times
	•	They mocked the fact that we live “only 1.5h away,” while in reality we are 3.5 hours away and spend 6–7 hours every weekend driving

3. Bullying in the dorm

My son’s roommate constantly bullies him:
	•	hits him with a telescopic stick,
	•	breaks his things,
	•	interrupts his online lessons, plays loud music, mocks him,
	•	says: “You can’t say anything to me, I’m Black. Try it and you’ll be punished.”

We reported this twice, but the administration ignored us. The dean told us this boy is “a perfect student” and nothing changed.

4. Public humiliation by a teacher

Recently during an event in sports hall (with many students watching), the math teacher yelled at my son:
“Shut up” / “Get out of here”
He was deeply humiliated and didn’t understand why, because nobody else was told anything.

5. Safety issues

There is zero security at the school territory. We once arrived late at night, drove onto campus freely, took our son, and nobody noticed or asked anything. Anyone could do that.

⸻

What I need advice on

We want to transfer him to a different school immediately. The problem is that new schools require recommendations, and after this situation I am afraid the principal may intentionally write a bad one and harm our son’s future.

We are in NYC, and a friend advised us to contact a lawyer (educational attorney + possibly medical negligence). This is very stressful, we feel lost, we don’t know if we are overreacting or if these are really serious violations in the US.

Questions:
	•	What would you do in this situation?
	•	Is this something an educational lawyer would handle?
	•	Should we file complaints officially?
	•	Can we request neutral recommendation letters?
	•	Any lawyer recommendations in NY?

Thank you so much in advance.[/quote]

Get him out asao and do not send to another boarding school. Bullying can be horrific because you can’t escape it.  Talk to HOS yes they should help you place him elsewhere. I would transfer him to private day school and tell schools applying to that is the reason you are leaving - he’s homesick. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics