Reply to My husband has been gone for 60 days and I'm realizing my marriage is bad.

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Reply to "My husband has been gone for 60 days and I'm realizing my marriage is bad."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, op, he sounds like most men. Unless he is constantly criticizing you and being a Johnny Depp-level narcissist that gaslights you, then ditch him.[/quote]

Not most men at all. This is not to make OP feel bad but to validate the feelings she feels. He’s making selfish choices. Many men are upstanding husbands and fathers, willing to put in 100 percent to my 100 percent- my husband is. Just validating OP that she doesn’t deserve feeling that way.[/quote]

Read op’s post carefully.  Her husband appears to have hobbies and appears to have always had these hobbies.  She married him knowing about his hobbies and habits and it doesn’t look like he’s changed a lot- but she had a kid with him anyway.

Her example of DH criticizing her is him asking her “Why didn’t you tell me?” About a broken lightbulb.  And he doesn’t do date night.

When you are in a bad relationship, you have examples at the forefront of your mind of terrible behavior.  Not “why didn’t you tell me” about a broken lightbulb.

On the other hand he’s been gone for awhile and she’s fine with that, so maybe it is time to separate.  Plus it appears their finances are separate too.  [/quote]

Everyone has hobbies before they have children.  You are supposed to give them up or cut way back for several years after you have kids.

That’s where the time for raising your kids comes from.  You give up or cut back on the other things you were spending your time on.  [/quote]

My husband played a lot of golf before kids. He also spent time with his friends at bars watching football on sundays. When we had kids he knew it was all hands on deck. Those things will come back but not to that extent and we both have developed new hobbies because immature people grow and change and are flexible.

I am not the same person I was when I got married 15 years ago and thank god. I would never hold my husband to that either.[/quote]

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