Reply to Divorce in Early 40s

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Therapy for yourself first.  
2. If he's a good dad, then perhaps you both can negotiate/settle custody amicably.
3.  I would caution waiting because if you are already not talking to each other when you're in the house, your kids as they get older will pick up on the tension, if they haven't already.  That is not healthy.  If you can turn this into a low-conflict parenting marriage, that's one thing, and I would have gone for that in my situation, but there was abuse in mine, so it wasn't an option. But if you are fighting on and off, your kids will notice.  Then it's better to settle apart.  You can make it so you see the kids most days.

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Thank you, I am already in therapy. I don’t think it’s just the communication… for my 40th birthday, I wanted to go out of country to resort, kids were 1.5 and 5, but he wanted to do Airbnb since it’s more exciting and fun… We had two little kids, relaxing at the resort would be the right option… and it was for my birthday… anyways, I couldn’t get him to agree to an all inclusive, so we ended up not going. For my big promotion at work, I organized a party, when I asked my hubby to help, he said that I am not allowing him to eat and acted like a guest versus a host… while I was organizing games, etc. When my youngest daughter was having anaphylactic reaction, he argued with me about calling 912 hoping Zyrtec would work, he only apologized a year later… when I am sick and stressed bc of work, he won’t comfort me, so I feel like I have lots of responsibilities and zero help or consideration for my well being… [/quote]

This is nonsense. Grow up OP. And I say this for your own good. Call 911 without asking his permission. If my kid were in danger, I'd call without glancing in my spouse's direction, and he would do same.

Do you have girlfriends? Call them when you are stressed. Thay's what girlfriends are for. It sucks he is not attentive when you are sick. This is the only real complaint you have in that write- up of yours.

Let him pick the damn vacations if he is so picky. And you can book some vacations with your friends if he is not interested. You are not conjoined twins. As for the kids, they are too young to care either way, so they will be happy anywhere you take them. Hire sitters, have fun with girlfriends.

Lower your expectations. Throw money at the problems and be happy![/quote]

Thank you! I will try that… (if booking vacation was up to him, we would only go to our vacation house in VA). [/quote]

I am rooting for you, OP! [/quote]

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