Reply to Responses to sibling's "I'm not taking care of Mom!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your mom own a house?
Does she get social security 
Does she have other money?

Your answer to your brothers is “no, it’s not horrible. [b]what’s horrible is you moved far away without taking into account how you would care for our parents”[/b]

Then figure out the money and get your mom into a safe environment with good care and supplement that care with a companion.

It’s her money don’t try to save it for yall. 
[/quote]

Good advice other than the bolded, which is flat-out ridiculous.  [/quote]

No it’s not. It points out they don’t care about mom’s care. Some kids stick around knowing mom and dad will need someone. These men DID NOT GAF about mom and dad. [/quote]

Or the parents didn’t care or plan? My parents moved near me in retirement so they could help with grandchildren and I’d help them age. That’s what should happen in retirement. [/quote]

Yes. It’s hard for everyone, but there was a study some years ago indicating that seniors who receive more/better care from family also chose to be more adaptable and to give up some autonomy; whereas those who who retained most of their independence did not have as robust care (by comparison).

Then again, it’s also not unusual to have the grandparents move close to one of their kids and help with childcare for years, only for that adult child not to be willing to help the parents as they age (feeling they’ve “done their part”).

Even in families that diligently have their estate paperwork completed, if the families don’t work well together interpersonally—and the parents are a part of that equation—it can make for a lot of excess stress, grief, and resentment.[/quote]

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