Reply to Finally separated from cheating man child husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have posted here before about the lows of my tumultuous long marriage to my husband who serially cheated on me, was under or unemployed and focused on his music and writing while my fertility waned and I grew increasingly frustrated and sad about not meeting life milestones such as having a baby and owning a home.

In late June while I was away on a work trip my husband slept with a mutual friend that was arranged by his other friends as he had been telling everyone about how toxic I was.

Upon my return he quickly went to a trip to Nashville with his recently single friend who was going there with the express reason  of partying and hooking up with other girls.

By snooping through his phone and uber records I was able to confirm that while in Nashville my husband slept with at least 2 women, one was a 50something mom of two.

I was processing all of this and how to confront him when in early July, when I was at work, he packed his laptop and a bag of clothes and walked out. He has not returned since. When u called him to ask where he was, he told me that he is leaving me as he will no longer be a victim of abuse as I am an abusive person and he doesn’t feel safe around me. He asked me to move out of our shared apartment asap as he will no longer pay the rent.

After two months of devastation and freeze response, I’m finally moving out. My mind is still reeling that he is saying I abused him…I can’t process this. As I thought he was cheating and lying and stringing me along? Suddenly I’m abusive?? [b]Make it make sense[/b][/quote]

Don't focus on this, just move on. Maybe you were abusive, maybe you weren't. He was wrong to cheat, obviously. But now you're out and you should do some work on yourself and figure out what you want before getting into another relationship. Your marriage was toxic, which I'm not saying you are wholly responsible for, but you need to get to a healthy space before moving on to someone else. Cut the cords and don't look back. Wondering why he said that and what he meant is useless unless you're willing to really own your role in what happened. Again, I'm not saying you are to blame here, but being defensive over the words of a man who cheated on and left you is a waste of time. Do some soul searching and learn to let go of the past. I wish you the best of luck in your new life. [/quote]

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