Reply to DH filed for divorce without discussion

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH filed for divorce without discussion "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to find a job immediately. Given his mental health issues and the upheaval and stress of a divorce, his job may be precarious.
What kind of work were you doing up until the move?[/quote]

Opposite of precarious. He has a huge promotion getting press released after Labor Day but already accounted for in his pay grade and title as of last week. Extensive deferred compensation, etc. God help me. [/quote]

What state? How long have you been married? [/quote]

A state where our 12 year marriage will probably get me 3-5 years alimony at less than 50% of his income at most, based on what I’m finding. -OP

I guess I’ll know soon enough. [/quote]

You are an able bodied adult, get a job. Don't be a deadbeat. Life and kids cost money - he should take on his share of parenting responsibilities and you should take on your share of financial responsibilities. And if either of you shirk major responsibilities of adulthood and parenting - you are both deadbeats. Women are more than capable of working and paying for their own needs and contributing to the needs for their kids. This idea that but I am a woman, so I can't do anything but have a man look after me and the kids needs to disappear. [/quote]

OP and I completely agree with you.

But zoom out and ignore my sad situation for a bit: when one partner sacrifices career opportunities so another partner can take on a more lucrative but more demanding job with less flexibility, that means their future opportunities are impacted. I think alimony is a practical way of acknowledging that, although it doesn’t fully account for the impact that downshifting to support a partner’s career has on long term career prospects.

And let’s be real, for two partners to have equal high caliber careers, you need local, able-bodied family, or space for an au pair from early on, or partners who are willing to make equal tradeoffs from day to day and week to week. If one person is always on pickup and lunch duty and one person always gets to go in early and stay late, for example, the other one’s career falls behind and eventually is deprioritized.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics