Reply to Birthdays are so hard in a house of neurodivergents

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry for all these people shaming you, because a good friend of mine has autistic kids with anxiety and ADHD, and birthdays and Christmases have been a nightmare for them as well. I feel like my friends has done a ton to make them low-key, one present, set expectations, etc., and it's still, at age 14, fraught, although much better than when the kids were younger. And while I don't think you're doing anything "wrong" or "too much," she did find it helpful to take much of the offerings off the table, literally and figuratively. I think the kids were just so anxious that everything tripped their anxiety.

A big win for them was saying that the family Christmas present was going to a low-key resort in Puerto Rico.) Everyone had a good time (they love swimming and running around in bathing suits) and they skirted the whole Christmas morning industrial complex somewhat. So maybe give something like that a try? It kind of sounds like it's going to be miserable no matter what you do, so at least you can set conditions to keep yourself somewhat happy. ?

Good luck. Good news is that your kids are still relatively young, so there's some room for growth. [/quote]

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