Reply to MIL says she is dropping something off then lingers for hours until dinner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone - I got some good perspective from these responses and some subtle shifts that I can work on like picking something up.

To clarify, she did say “drop it off”. To give her some props though she did actually communicate with me beforehand which I appreciate and is a result of previous conversations.

[b]Nevermind that she still passively inserts herself so she can get what she actually wants (I would have so much rather just fielded the question “would you like to get dinner”, but so it is what it is. I think she doesn’t ask out of habit but it’s also a way she gets what she wants and doesn’t have to risk a no.)[/b]

Husband does largely deal with her. We do see her regularly[b]. Her level of aloneness and need to see us is beyond though.[/b] No exaggeration I mean like she would be at our house or us at hers literally every single day. There’s a story behind that as there usually is… her dh is basically absent despite being married. Lots of enmeshment with sons my dh has had to work through, and continues to.

Anyway, thanks all! Appreciate the thoughts [/quote]

Why don't you invite her to stay for dinner? You obviously are not clueless about what she wants -- you just don't want to give it to her. "Her level of aloneness and need to see us is beyond" -- wtf? She's a lonely person who also is your MIL and you cannot figure out how to invite her over so she will be less lonely? You don't understand her connection to you, your DH or your kids? How can anyone be that dense. Are you on the spectrum OP?[/quote]

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