Reply to 19yo DD failed her freshman year and now is at home refusing to work or go to school

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "19yo DD failed her freshman year and now is at home refusing to work or go to school "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What specialists diagnosed or treated her ADHD? Has she been in therapy since she was diagnosed? CBT is part of the standard treatment plan for kids with ADHD. Have you looked into an executive functioning coach? Did you set up any supports at her college with their office of accessibility?

It’s very common for people with untreated ADHD to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. The first step is get her help to stop drinking. Then she needs to remain in therapy and keep trying appropriate medications while she lives at home with you and learns how to function as an adult. Then you need to find a college program with supports for students with ADHD. She’s very capable, but she will need more help and support than other college students.[/quote]

ADHD actually does not make you suddenly go from As to failing or refuse to work or come home drunk every night. Something else is going on. [/quote]
Mismanaged ADHD can absolutely cause a kid to flunk their first year of college and then the shame and low self esteem can cause a kid to spiral and drink heavily. She started having academic issues 3 years ago and the solution was for mom and dad to ride her to complete her work. They didn’t go off to college with her though. What was the plan to help her succeed?[/quote]

ADHD is supposed to be present in early childhood - not sudden onset in 10th grade. I get that this is the trend to make this kind of diagnosis but the danger is that is covers up what may actually be the issue - anxiety, depression, personality disorder, some kind of trauma. The idea that ADHD is at the root of all other kinds of challenges is a just-so story, not helpful evaluation. And the only reason we think of it that way is because there is a medication for ADHD (which may make things worse if it is the incorrect medication). [/quote]

A lot of people with ADHD also suffer from anxiety and/or depression. It's not one or the other. The ADHD challenges and internalized shame can feed those mental health struggles.

Also, doctors won't necessarily evaluate someone for ADHD in early childhood if they're not struggling enough in school. I'm the PP whose sibling had a similar story to OP's DD - I see SO many parallels between my sibling and oldest kid that are common symptoms of ADHD, and his teachers in early elementary said he was struggling with attention, but we couldn't get him an evaluation because he was doing well in school. So I'm just trying to teach coping mechanisms at home, and literally just keeping notes, because I think when the demands increase in middle or high school, it may become a problem. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics