Reply to Need help for older teen DS who has explosive temper tantrums

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Need help for older teen DS who has explosive temper tantrums "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t hate me for saying it, but as a former DV advocate and prosecutor I feel morally obligated to encourage you to consider the unthinkable and safety plan to avoid it. You might consider locking your bedroom door at night, to start with.

Among the men who murder women in domestic violence situations are, sadly, a not insubstantial number of sons who kill their mothers. It can happen at any age but during the adolescent and early adult years the risk is highest. Your son is exhibiting explosive disorder symptoms even if he’s not full blown and he’s obviously in the thick of burgeoning testosterone and also at an age of great vulnerability for manifestation of serious mental illness.

I hope it all works out but please consider the unthinkable at least long enough to safety plan for yourself and any other children in the home.[/quote]

Huge over reaction and not what this mom needs right now. Do you have a teen and have you experienced the year before they go to college?  [/quote]

I mean, it is probably unlikely that this kid will do such a thing, but what OP is describing goes far beyond normal crankiness or disrespect from an older teen, based on her own description. I’m not sure she needs a safety plan because what it sounds like is this kid just has not been taught that he cannot treat women aggressively. OP needs to get very serious about teaching him that he may not act aggressively with no consequences. She should get support from a child psychologist experienced in aggressive behaviors. The kid is too old to use the techniques OP should have instituted a decade ago, but OP can definitely start showing her teen that he cannot be aggressive without consequences. Letting him know that any aggression results in an instant loss of privileges, OP walking away and not engaging, up to calling the police and having the teen move out. This is serious stuff and not a “temper tantrum.”

Background: I have a young teen with a temper with a dad with a temper. I have been working with therapists since he was 6 on this. Kid still has a temper but knows that there are extremely strong boundaries about any sort of aggression (including threats). If you do not start at 6 firmly telling boys “you may not hit me, you may not yell at me,” then this is where you end up. [/quote]

I disagree.  I also work with teens and neither of us know OP or her kid in real life.  I’m one of the posters who gave advice about my kid and think this absolutely sounds normal, especially for a kid who lost his father.  I think you are projecting a bit.  
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics