Reply to What if an ex-spouse becomes ill?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't men tend to find a replacement wife/girlfriend very quickly?  This will be her problem.[/quote]

If they don’t have kids, they don’t stick around.

Wife #2 left in less than a year when his family cut him off financially. She also tried to get me to testify about the abuse I suffered that she claimed he bragged to her about. [/quote]

Unfortunately, I am in kind of a similar situation as OP - abuse, driven perhaps by underlying undiagnosed/untreated illness.  He definitely found other women quickly. He re-married, and I was hopeful for my kid’s sake, that his wife would take care of him.  Unfortunately, without kids, it was quite easy for her to end the marriage. And, he spent a lot of money that he really couldn’t afford trying to keep her happy.

Within 6 months of the demise of his second marriage, he had already found a girlfriend he introduced to the kids. Maybe she’ll take care of him?

OP, I think the best that you can do is model for your daughter how to draw boundaries and politely saying no to him.  I also had to explain to my kids that, even though they are in their twenties, they do not have the life experience to help him.  They don’t know enough about people, relationships, health issues, legal issues, etc.  The best thing they can do is empathize with a problem he expresses, and then re-direct him to his friend and sibling network for support as well as social/government support networks. And, maybe get her some individual therapy to understand abuse, what is appropriate for her as a child of divorce, and how to draw healthy boundaries.

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