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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve gone on three dates with a man over the last month. He hasn’t tried to kiss me on any of them, just walked me to my door and hugged me. I know he’s definitely interested in me, we talk on the phone daily and he’s let me know how much he likes me.

I texted him afterwards to let him know next time he can kiss me and do more. He responded that he won’t go too far unless he knows there’s something there, so we have to take our time.

Red or green flag? I don’t mind waiting, but I know men typically have high sex drives and want to get in bed as fast as possible. I don’t want to spend months dating him just to find out he doesn’t like sex. He’s also not religious. [/quote]

DH here:  Impossible to answer without knowing more, particularly your ages. But men sometimes do get gun shy if they are the sort who gets attached after sex and have had some bad experiences as a result.  While the stereotype is that men are just in it for the sex and can compartmentalize no problem, there are actually quite a few that can catch feelings in that way.  I had a rather painful ghosting experience once where we went from super-hot-and-heavy for a couple of months to “do I know you?”  So, some men learn caution the hard way. [/quote]

Why did she ghost you ?[/quote]

I never found out. “Do I know you?” was a figure of speech, she was tangentially connected to a group of friends I had, so I saw her from time to time afterward for a couple of years, and it was all very cordial and friendly, there were no obvious issues.  Right after things stopped I tried to engage in the “what happened?” conversation and it was met with, essentially, “what are you even talking about?” I realized that there would never be any meaningful answers so I dropped it after a couple of attempts.  It seemed pretty hard core and insensitive to me, after you’ve been with a person in that way I think you are entitled to being dumped rather than “I’ll just pretend none of this ever happened and eventually he will clue in.”  I suppose, though, once you figure out what is going on it’s basically the same thing, just more confusing and painful for a time.  In any event, for purposes of this thread the take-away is that this experience made me a little skittish for a while, and I’ve heard similar stories from other guys. It’s a jungle out there.[/quote]

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