My DH was also like this. I thought it would be nice to date someone who had some restraint in that area and hopefully wouldn’t cheat on me like my last. Jokes on me as he has low T and ASD. He had basically no desire after kid was born ( DB 9 years and counting not for my lack of trying) and I am stuck stuck stuck as kid also ASD. I look back on his ‘politeness’ now in a whole different way.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gone on three dates with a man over the last month. He hasn’t tried to kiss me on any of them, just walked me to my door and hugged me. I know he’s definitely interested in me, we talk on the phone daily and he’s let me know how much he likes me.

I texted him afterwards to let him know next time he can kiss me and do more. He responded that he won’t go too far unless he knows there’s something there, so we have to take our time.

Red or green flag? I don’t mind waiting, but I know men typically have high sex drives and want to get in bed as fast as possible. I don’t want to spend months dating him just to find out he doesn’t like sex. He’s also not religious.

Perhaps you're not quite the looker that you think you are?

Anonymous wrote:Either he’s gay, has ED issues or is shy because he has a tiny pp.

See, Inwas going to say this. He’s got a tiny pp and wants you to be commiitted or into him first.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was like this. Turns out he’s low drive and doesn’t like to initiate. I mistook it for being “polite”.

Keep an eye out for sexual compatibility and don’t ignore your gut.

This.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gone on three dates with a man over the last month. He hasn’t tried to kiss me on any of them, just walked me to my door and hugged me. I know he’s definitely interested in me, we talk on the phone daily and he’s let me know how much he likes me.

I texted him afterwards to let him know next time he can kiss me and do more. He responded that he won’t go too far unless he knows there’s something there, so we have to take our time.

Red or green flag? I don’t mind waiting, but I know men typically have high sex drives and want to get in bed as fast as possible. I don’t want to spend months dating him just to find out he doesn’t like sex. He’s also not religious.

Men are not all the same, just like women.

Some people prefer an emotional connection before any sex, and feel sex prior to that would just cheapen it all or not be as good and feel tainted by it.

Either he’s gay, has ED issues or is shy because he has a tiny pp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really nice and fun. However, I’d expect some ED issues might come up. To be honest, any guy over 50 is going to have issues with Ed anyway.

This is not true. I know that ED issues are common as one ages but my husband is 59 and has no issues. We were recently away for a few days and had s$x 3 nights in a row. We would have done it more, but the other nights we were sharing a hotel room with our son. When we are home we are a twice a week or so couple. I'm the issue for that, my libido has tanked in menopause.

Do you know what an outlier means? Google it.

Here's what the Op about this subject said:
"any guy over 50 is going to have issues with Ed anyway."

This is clearly not true, correct?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really nice and fun. However, I’d expect some ED issues might come up. To be honest, any guy over 50 is going to have issues with Ed anyway.

This is not true. I know that ED issues are common as one ages but my husband is 59 and has no issues. We were recently away for a few days and had s$x 3 nights in a row. We would have done it more, but the other nights we were sharing a hotel room with our son. When we are home we are a twice a week or so couple. I'm the issue for that, my libido has tanked in menopause.

Do you know what an outlier means? Google it.

It is important to root out crazy.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was like this. Turns out he’s low drive and doesn’t like to initiate. I mistook it for being “polite”.

Keep an eye out for sexual compatibility and don’t ignore your gut.

Exactly the same here!

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really nice and fun. However, I’d expect some ED issues might come up. To be honest, any guy over 50 is going to have issues with Ed anyway.

This is not true. I know that ED issues are common as one ages but my husband is 59 and has no issues. We were recently away for a few days and had s$x 3 nights in a row. We would have done it more, but the other nights we were sharing a hotel room with our son. When we are home we are a twice a week or so couple. I'm the issue for that, my libido has tanked in menopause.

Guy wants to wait - DCUMad - Gay!

Guy doesn’t want to wait - DCUMad - Predator!

GMAFB

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve gone on three dates with a man over the last month. He hasn’t tried to kiss me on any of them, just walked me to my door and hugged me. I know he’s definitely interested in me, we talk on the phone daily and he’s let me know how much he likes me.

I texted him afterwards to let him know next time he can kiss me and do more. He responded that he won’t go too far unless he knows there’s something there, so we have to take our time.

Red or green flag? I don’t mind waiting, but I know men typically have high sex drives and want to get in bed as fast as possible. I don’t want to spend months dating him just to find out he doesn’t like sex. He’s also not religious.

DH here: Impossible to answer without knowing more, particularly your ages. But men sometimes do get gun shy if they are the sort who gets attached after sex and have had some bad experiences as a result. While the stereotype is that men are just in it for the sex and can compartmentalize no problem, there are actually quite a few that can catch feelings in that way. I had a rather painful ghosting experience once where we went from super-hot-and-heavy for a couple of months to “do I know you?” So, some men learn caution the hard way.

Why did she ghost you ?

I never found out. “Do I know you?” was a figure of speech, she was tangentially connected to a group of friends I had, so I saw her from time to time afterward for a couple of years, and it was all very cordial and friendly, there were no obvious issues. Right after things stopped I tried to engage in the “what happened?” conversation and it was met with, essentially, “what are you even talking about?” I realized that there would never be any meaningful answers so I dropped it after a couple of attempts. It seemed pretty hard core and insensitive to me, after you’ve been with a person in that way I think you are entitled to being dumped rather than “I’ll just pretend none of this ever happened and eventually he will clue in.” I suppose, though, once you figure out what is going on it’s basically the same thing, just more confusing and painful for a time. In any event, for purposes of this thread the take-away is that this experience made me a little skittish for a while, and I’ve heard similar stories from other guys. It’s a jungle out there.

Anonymous wrote:My sex fiend friend made a girl wait for 3-4 months. Nobody understood why. Turns out the girl he was leaving told him she had an STD. My friend waited those months for clean test.

Why couldn't he just tell her? God knows all the stuff that went through her mind during that time lol. Is he gay? Does he have ED? Am I fat? Am I ugly? Is he cheating? He must not like me lol

My sex fiend friend made a girl wait for 3-4 months. Nobody understood why. Turns out the girl he was leaving told him she had an STD. My friend waited those months for clean test.