Reply to BIL pissed that we won't be at his wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you didn't snark about the cathedral, it would be easier to have sympathy.

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I only mentioned the cathedral because that seemed to signal that they wanted to hold a big, opulent event that would require lots of advance notice and planning. And we would have loved the run-up and the event itself. As it is, it now sounds like their wedding is going to be more low-key.

Thanks to your comments, I'm coming around to the view that he should go solo to his brother's wedding, to avoid any long-term resentment from them. Although I was included on the invitation, I'll still take my lovely children and brother to the restaurant and try to find a window for a repeat when everyone can be there - and be relaxed and happy - even though that's unlikely to be any time this year now.

I've never had an issue with DH's family before, but this has opened my eyes to some dynamics. Not least, the way the celebration plans for his wife (i.e. me) are dismissed. I also wonder whether BIL's fiancee's dreams of a cathedral wedding were similarly dismissed. I've in the past detected a hint of familial misogyny - not from DH - but the all-male environment when they're together can get a bit much. [/quote]

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