Reply to Joy after going low contact with toxic sibling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are truly free and full of joy, why post about it and spend more of your life on talking about a toxic relationship to strangers?  You still sound enmeshed. [/quote]

Because it feels fantastic!

You did not have to read this post. You can make a decision not to comment, not to read, etc, etc. Are you the same poster who keeps posting critical comments?

OP[/quote]

Different poster and I am happy for you OP. I think those of us who went low contact or no contact post to let others know life can be better.When you deal with someone for years who sucks the life out of you with things like dramatics/manipulations/emotional abuse/lies you can feel trapped. It's hard to step back because there can be a whole family system insisting you stay in your role and you are afraid of the aftermath. In my case my mother was livid though she didn't get along with my sister either-she needed the dysfunction in play. So I lost a lot stepping back-another parent, extended family functions (because she was the type to make a scene), etc, but it was worth it. The tranquility is priceless.[/quote]

Thank you for your post.

I'm sorry that you had to have these experiences, and I can see you understand and get it at a deep level.

You are spot on about the family system that wants you to stay in your role. And it does seem certain family members become addicted to the drama and dysfunction or, at the very least, that is what feels familiar to people. I had to recognize the victim-rescuer-perpetrator triangle and exit from it because two other family members loved to pull me into the drama. I would get dramatic phone calls from both with a lot of crying and accusations against the other. It's exhausting and a waste of time.

I'm sorry about what you have lost yet very glad you have that calm and tranquility now.

Wishing you the best,
OP

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