Reply to How fair are my wants/wishes??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact he has to earn sex is not going to bode well. That is like him saying I will do more aroung the house every time you have sex with me. Using sex to manipulate and get what you want isn't a healthy relationship.

You guys should work with someone if you want this to last. I think your wants are excessive and your holding sex over his head as something he only gets if he earns it is really nasty.

Sex should be someone you both want together. You ant him to spend money on you and give you time alone - both things that are only about you. But all he gets in return is you will allow him access to your body if he spends enough money and leaves you alone for enough hours[/quote]

He doesn’t have to earn sex. I will have sex with him without a date nights. I always liked the experience and feel it’s extra special now that I don’t feel that great with my new body. It’s more the experience of getting all dressed up for me.

The me time is just really important.

I do want quality time with him. This doesn’t always include a date night. This includes just watching our shows together, a nice walk after dinner, cuddling in bed before sleep, etc.

[/quote]

You said he has to wine and dine you if he wants sex. That is earning sex. What are you giving him from all of this other than duty sex when he spent enough money on you? Seems it is just about your wants and not at all about him. I doubt he really wants your sex as payment back for the money he spends on you - but that is all you think he should get? He probably wants sex with a wife who is attracted to him and wants to have sex with him. Just like if he said you have to have enough sex with him to earn a dinner out - you aren't going to really enjoy that date night when you know he just did it as payment back to you for having sex with him. [/quote]

I don’t think I’m explaining it well. The date nights are not just for sex. I want the date nights for the closeness and to feel like us again. I love him and feel incredibly attracted to him. He knows I find him attractive because I constantly tell him and show him. We are super affectionate with each other.

I will enjoy the date nights. Being able to dress up and feel a little like my old self. Enjoying the experience of just going out and being able to talk uninterrupted. Being able to spend time together just us while feeling sexy and like a real human is what I want.

I’ve felt very much unlike myself these past couple of months. My body changed and I just don’t feel sexy. I feel shuttered in. I want to feel like myself again. [/quote]

THIS is what you need to tell him. Not ridiculous things about being wined and dined.  The getting back to feeling like yourself....that's the stuff he needs to know.  [/quote]

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