Reply to DH having emotional affair

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH having emotional affair "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know what to say right now - he doesn't know I know as much as I do. He is away now, not with her.  (I know for a fact) but I'm sure they're texting nonstop. I'm barely eating. [/quote]
Rip off the bandaid and have a CTJ conversation when he returns. The longer you let it go the more he’s going to fall for her. Don’t let him gaslight you.[/quote]

What would I say? I can't give an ultimatum. And how can I force it?[/quote]

DH here:  I’d take a breath before doing anything. This could be a situation of some ambiguity. Most men are unfamiliar with the concept of an “emotional affair” and so he may not see it as the level of betrayal that you do.  His reaction might well be, if confronted, “what do you mean affair, we’re not having sex WTF?”  And if you accuse him of an affair or betrayal, he’ll probably get defensive and the conversation won’t be very constructive at all.  This could be a situation where what started out as something meant to be relatively innocent has evolved to a bad place because people get disinhibited by screens and it is easy to see even sexual texting as “harmless” given the inherent distance.

Recognizing that it might be difficult, perhaps start the conversation in a more neutral place:  “You’re texting Larla all the time these days and it’s making me uncomfortable. What is going on?”  While ordinarily in the context of a physical affair, confrontation can be a problem because it allows the unfaithful spouse to go to ground and conceal evidence, here it sounds like you’re pretty confident there is nothing like that going on, it’s just the texts and phone calls or whatever; this to me suggests there is less down side in just raising the issue with him and seeing where it leads.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics