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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- it's def not platonic 
He has lots of female friends and I'm 100% fine w that. [/quote]
Capture screenshots.[/quote]

They're deleted now [/quote]

So he knows you know? [/quote]

He doesn't know how much I know but knows I'm suspicious and knows I know they talked on the phone [/quote]

I'm sorry, OP. Who earns more?[/quote]

Him but business doing very poorly. Zero chance we could afford divorce right now [/quote]

People divorce even when they're poor, OP. Don't think this protects you. And staying just because you want to keep a certain lifestyle is really sad. He needs to arrive, somehow, at the realization that this emotional affair is not good for him.[/quote]

Yes how though?  I don't care about lifestyle. I want to stay married [/quote]

NP. You have to ask him to stop, for the sake of your family and the commitment you made together.  Perhaps you don't want to set an ultimatum because this may be a one foot out the door situation.  But you could just say, I'd like you to pause this contact while we jointly decide how healthy our relationship is and how this will affect our family.

I think a PA is worse, especially with a younger woman.  It's hard to compete with because new situations are very hormonal and running on adrenaline.  Mature love rarely keeps that quality.  The same thing as crushes and EAs.  Just worse because the moral code is totally shattered.

I would act sooner rather than later.

His business situation may make this EA a fun escape from real life.  That is unfortunate, and that's not where you have an advantage.  Don't beg.  Call on why you got married in the first place, your family together, and whatever morality you believe him to possess to move this situation to a more equitable and honest place. Tell him you want to stay married but give convincing and loving reasons.

This is a very ordinary situation to find yourself in.  Too much despair will prevent you from moving forward.  Don't doubt and blame yourself because this exact situation or worse has happened to some of the smartest, prettiest, and richest women on earth. Just start moving forward.

I would also background check the other woman on the Internet to see what she may be hiding.  Married? Failing business?  Why did she latch onto your husband?

A woman I know's husband met a married AP at church.  He was a trade up for AP because the AP's husband couldn't keep a job.  Both of them were apparently bored and sad and immature and professionally unsuccessful together.  That was enough to burn everything down.

I don't think you need evidence if you know what you saw and are sure.  If you're wrong, I don't think your husband will be mad that you're jealous.  I think you should talk to your husband ASAP, but not remotely unless his trip is long.  That would give him uninterrupted talk time with OW.  [/quote]

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