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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope. Don’t waste your time or money. [/quote]

No. Self/solo therapy does work
Who wants to watch their spouse rehash things from their extreme perspective. It’s annoying and perpetuates fights [/quote]

That is not what a good couples therapist does. A good therapist doesn't just let each person vent, attack, repeat criticism, etc. They would help you process the conflict so that you come away understanding each other's positions better, what triggers you, etc. Then they give you tools (and help you practice them!) to better work through the next conflict that arises.

The PP who stressed the need for specialized couples training was right on -- even great individual therapists can be terrible at working with couples. Ask potential therapists what specific training they have and how many hours their program was (60+ hours of Gottman vs a 1-hr generic continuing ed seminar), what percentage of their caseload is couples (you want someone who is doing this day in and day out, not casually), and how long couples usually stay with them (an average of 6 months is a good sign; much shorter suggests people drop out quickly and over a year suggests the therapist is not super effective - barring extreme cases of course). Don't worry too much about their specific license or even whether they are pre-licensed. You could have a PhD with 20 years of individual experience who is not as effective as a resident/supervisee who has done extensive couples training. The amount/type of training and how many couples they've worked with is your best gauge in my experience.[/quote]

A good therapist can not make some listen or be receptive. How I know? I WAS the non listener. I would literally ask my ex husband not to bring up stuff and strongarm him into doing what I asked.  That was ridiculous.

I wasn’t into listening to anyone. I had to do a lot of work on myself after marriage.  I guarantee there are a lot of “mes” out there. No amount of couples therapy would have helped me. I needed to see a therapist on my own. With kids, two full time jobs and a sleep deficit — solo therapy is where I should have invested my limited time

Just one ladies experience.[/quote]

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