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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't buy their actions and thoughts with $ or care. You cannot change anybody. You can change how you react to things. You don't have to be the one they go to. [/quote] Yes, very hard for me to do in practice after being placed in that role since childhood. My mom wants me to be executor of her estate, and I've told her I'm not sure I want to do it after this. She said if I don't she will have assign a third-party do it.[b] I feel incredibly guilty about letting her down and that my siblings would get much less because of atty fees, a[/b]nd they need the $$ whereas I do not. I suppose it's their fault too, if she doesn't trust one of them to do it. But, I guess I have to accept that they may not like me any longer, but I barely like myself right now with how I'm wanting something from them. [/quote] I posted before on your thread and I posted a lot on here about elderly issues and trying to be a people-pleaser and getting burned so many times over the years. I have a dysfunctional family and elderly issues made things much worse. I mean this as someone who has been there...don't be a martyr. Your siblings needing the money is not your concern if you feel unsupported. Your mom can either assign one of them the job of executer (and the executer is legally allowed to take a well deserved fee for the service) or hire someone. If mom does not trust the siblings, that is not your problem. If mom guilt trips you for making her hire someone, keep your eye on the prize-your sanity and freedom from drama. You have to find the balance between doing what you feel is right and maintaining your sanity. You have to let go of other people's narratives and stick to your own moral compass while finding boundaries that work for you.[/quote]
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