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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mom has dementia and cannot do anything by herself when she’s with me. Can’t even put a slice of cheese in her bread or make tea by herself. When she’s alone or with my sister she does these things independently. Is she faking it so that I serve her? I know she will need 24 hr care, but not yet?[/quote]

Does it break your back to do things for her? Are you there every day. If not, who cares. Just do it.[/quote]

Yes you rude person, I am there every day for 8-9 months per year.[/quote]
Ignore the mean posters. If you want help, there is a lot of knowledge here. But you have to give us some more facts- what are the resources, what kind of dementia, who has POA etc? It’s clear you are maxed out and the pressures you have are too much. [/quote]

She refuses everything, outside help, POA, and thinks she is very capable of doing everything and that I am not doing things to help her anyway. This is just so wrong, as she can’t or acts like she can’t do anything by herself. So I have to do it. The alternative is letting her be by herself which will have really bad consequences. Unfortunately, for about 3-4 months per year she does have to be by herself in her apartment. I dread these times and am scared when it happens - moldy food in the fridge, doesn’t notice when heat isn’t on or when AC needs to be on, etc. But when she acts like she can’t make tea or put cheese on her bread, I know it’s untrue. Because she does eat when I am not around. I do what I can and while it may not be perfect, I cannot let her act so helpless yet, because she will lose these abilities faster when I do them for her. Vascular dementia.[/quote]

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