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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is that with a lot of people standing up for yourself ends up hurting you. They can't take it, call you some name for calling them out on their issue,  etc. They might tell another friend I am high maintenance or some other slight. I've done something like this where I say once that I really like to make sure we are on or say I am not sure because I want to be sure I have plans Saturday night. After the first time if I don't get some sort of response that makes me feel my needs are really heard I willdl do a slow fade if it happens again. Most or the time I am their b or c level friend and they are using me by canceling on me if something better in their eyes comes up so they actually appreciate the slow fade so they can consider me a friend without any effort.  [b]They can't handle any discussion and simply don't care enough to care about fixing the issue. [/b][/quote]

This projects a lot of your own rejection insecurities onto other people. If you honestly claim your own feelings/position, without blaming them or demanding they change, and they call you names like a child, that's valuable information about the sort of "friend" you have, and you should act accordingly. And if they go gossiping to your other "friends", well, they did you the favor of revealing some snakes.

The bolded reveals the projection succinctly. YOU can't handle the discussion, and simply don't care...[/quote]

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